This is a therapy post. Meaning, I need to get this off my chest. It might not resonate with every person, but I've been thinking about something for awhile and couldn't quite articulate my feelings until now. I am a mom of three young children and life is hectic and crazy, and I wouldn't change a thing. :) Well, I mean, I would change that one hour fit the 2-year-old threw today if I could. And actually, I would change my 6-year-old's fear of thunder to be maybe fear of tigers or something less common around Central Illinois. And I probably would also change my son's lack of aim in the bathroom so I don't have to clean up his pee every time he uses the bathroom.
When did it become bad to want to change something? If we never wanted to change anything about our lives, wouldn't we be in heaven? And honestly, it's not our kids we want to change, exactly, but the rest of our crazy hectic lives that make us too tired and worn down to appropriately and adequately deal with their tough behaviors. Perhaps people feel the need to say things like, "My baby cried all day and my Kindergartener threw up everywhere and I am exhausted, but I wouldn't change a thing!" because they think that phrase means, "I would rather not have kids than deal with this nightmare." Of course it doesn't mean that!!! That should be a mutual understanding amongst all parents; we wouldn't trade our kids for clean floors, eight hours of sleep, and more nights on the town. No one would do that. But I can't stand feeling like I need to clarify a statement like, "This was a loooooonnnnnggggg day with my kids" with "but I wouldn't change a thing," because, duh. We know that I wouldn't rather trade my kids for not having a long day.
And another thing...all of these videos, posts, images that are everywhere right now with the goal of getting moms to slow down, not wish time away, savor every moment, enjoy every second, blah blah are just another way to make us feel guilty for not doing that. I do not enjoy every minute of being a mom. I don't think I actually enjoy every minute of a lot of things, but that doesn't mean they aren't absolutely remarkable, amazing, life changing things. And while I will look back fondly on these young years with my children, I do not want to feel bad about not laying with them longer every night. You know why? Because I have a house to run and a marriage to nurture, and a body to take care of. And I desperately need that time. I hope I look back on these years and say, "Well done. You raised awesome kids, still have a healthy marriage, and are sane. Don't beat yourself up for being happy when they were sleeping each night, because you deserved that time to unwind."
I totally and completely support personal development and working on ourselves as moms, entrepreneurs, wives, sisters, etc. And if you feel like you don't take time to acknowledge the goodness around you, then maybe that's something you can invest some time in studying. Or maybe you're a yell-y mom, and you want to work on that. Or maybe you are super unorganized and the house is always a mess. Let's embrace improving ourselves, but can we also just appreciate how much we're doing already without the guilt trips??
Moms Unite!!!! We are awesome. And don't change a thing. ;)